Continuing my posting of one poem from my book “Water & Light: Choose Love Now” every Friday this month in tribute to my and other survivors’ stories #domesticviolenceawareness This poem is called “A message to young Black girls who love love and want to save the world”
A message to young Black girls who love “love” and want to save the world
1. Those with the biggest hearts have the hardest time seeing themselves remember that when you think of yourself, remember that in your interactions with others
2. Even if (or perhaps especially if) you want to save the world, you deserve to receive, make space for love’s gifts, expect them, appreciate them
3. Know who you are so you can know when it’s time to go, don’t stay trying to prove you are not the “whore”, “liar”, “bitch”, “narcissist” they see, you will never prove them wrong, their threats and violence will escalate and you will always be “bad” and “deserving” of punishment
4. It is not that hard to bend for someone you deeply love, the trick is to love yourself first, this self love is left out of the movies, this self love is rarely encouraged for young Black girls and still you are magic and you deserve to receive love.
5. Don’t fear making a mistake, busy yourself with looking at your lessons and blessings I promise you that even (if not especially) in the darkest times they are there
6. Love is not meant to be a trap a bargain a transaction or a waiting game. Love takes work but that work should look like personal growth, serving you, deeply worth it, and contributing to your spirit. It is not complicated nor is it an emotional rollercoaster, it is actually quite simple
7. When you lose yourself in “love” and then that “love” is “lost” that is not a loss that is freedom, and that was not love, love is about being yourself.
8. If you are not aligned god will make you so uncomfortable and give you so much pain in order to gift you back to you so you can do her work
9. There is always something positive to be said for forgiveness – that is not the same as staying when your gut says run. You are not “helping” by “standing by your partner” when everything in you knows it is time to leave, you are enabling them and you cannot grow if you enable them, and they cannot grow if you enable them
10. All your feelings matter
11. Sometimes you have to let go of that which was not love and which you never deserved in the first place in order to make room for that which is actually love. Love has a verbal and physical language that looks and sounds and feels like love, love heals rather than destroys
(c) 2018 Kristin Richardson Jordan
KRJ, the poet running for New York City Council